Friday, February 11, 2011

In Sickness and in Fear

Dudes.  I've been sick, on and off, since DECEMBER 26TH.  GAH.  This is getting old.  As is the cold MN weather, which requires us to wear multiple layers lest we freeze to death when we step outdoors.  Case in point, my outfit yesterday.  Behold the layering:

From the inside out:
Abstract print dress in blue/purple/white/black, faux Target (Salvation Army in Mpls, lower level)
Black leggings, JC Penney's (the Decree brand)
Black drapey cardigan, Macy's clearance sale (!)
Black boots, Gramma Mac's boots again
Black studded belt, Target clearance for $4.25!
Black and faux diamond-studded hoops, JC Penney's jewelry sale during Christmas
Unseen wool socks, Christmas gift

Close-up of the accessories:

Oh sure - that doesn't seem like a ton of layering.  But still.  All I want to do is wear that cute flutter-sleeved dress all by itself, with a pair of flip flops and maybe some earrings.  And not be bundled up like the kids from Christmas Story (which sadly, I've never seen.).

Speaking of movies, let's move on to scarier topics, namely scary movies.  I am constantly on the lookout for a movie that will frighten me as badly as my Ultimate Scary Movie.  What is my Ultimate Scary Movie?  The movie that TO THIS DAY still freaks the everloving snot out of me?  The movie that has spawned more nightmares than any other movie/Stephen King writing/economic forecast combined?

The original, the first in the (craptastic) series, A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Dudes, don't be fooled by the sequels or the remake.  Those travesties should be rounded up and removed from public consumption for all times.  All you need is the original Nightmare - complete with the added bonus of super-hot Johnny Depp!  Who has the most epic death scene EVER.

Let me explain (no, let me sum up) why this movie is so damn scary, I can't watch it at night:

1.  It's about people dying in their highly realistic dreams.  Dudes, I have highly realistic dreams, ever since I was a wee tot.  And this movie basically tells me that one day, my dreams will KILL ME.
2.  You never know if the characters are asleep and dreaming, or if they're awake.  (Much like most of my life.)  So you never know when terror will strike!  Gah!  Jump-out-at-you scares are the worst for me.
3.  The original Freddy Krueger makeup is so freaky and gross, he looks horrifying.  And no, he's not a wiseacre in the original movie - that comes later on, in the lame sequels.
4.  You actually like the kids, and don't want them to die.  Especially Glen (that would be Johnny Depp) and Nancy.  Unlike in most horror movies, where the kids are just canon-fodder.
5.  It's surprisingly not that gory.  Oh sure, there are buckets of blood being tossed around, but the kills are not graphic.  No guts spilling out, no dismemberment.  By today's post-Saw/Hostel/insert the torture p0rn of your choice here, ANoES is fairly tame.  That lack of gore allows you to focus on the terror of the teens being killed in their sleep, with no escape in sight.
6.  There's a satisfying reason for why Krueger is out for blood.  It's dealt with simply, and without unnecessary flashbacks to slow down the action.
Lucky 7.  The only recourse for the kids is to stay awake.  And the thought of never being able to sleep again is the most frightening thing of all.  Dudes, I NEED my sleep.

There you have it, my Ultimate Scary Movie - the movie all other horror movies are judged against.  Now let's open it up for discussion - what movie scares YOU the most?


  1. I don't watch anything gory (but OF COURSE have seen the original ANoES)

    The movies that have scared me the most are:
    Blair Witch Project
    The Others
    Paranormal Activity

    clearly I am mostly scared of what happens in my head.

  2. I must say that I L-O-V-E me some gory movies! The latest one that made me JUMP was "the Grudge". You gotta love it when it takes you by surprise! And it's not about the blood & guts, it's about making you think...