Thursday, October 27, 2011

In Honor Of The Greatest Holiday EVER

That would be Halloween, of course.  When else are you given license to dress kinda slutty and eat one metric shitton of candy?  Unless that's a normal Saturday night for you, in which case?  NO JUDGMENT.

I no longer dress kinda slutty (I'm nearly 40, peeps), but I still indulge in sweets.  I also indulge during the season in a slightly more terrifying manner - Scary Movie Marathons!

Here's what is on my viewing list for Halloween 2011:

The Thing (1982 version).  According to a vehement discussion with my father, The Thing with Kurt Russell is NOT the original.  The one with James Arness is, and my father would like you all to know that it is SO MUCH BETTER.  Whatever.  I consider the apparent remake to be one of the freakiest movies in the history of ever.  The commercial scared the crap out of me as a kid - so imagine what the whole movie does to me.

Halloween, the first.  Rob Zombie, I love you.  You're handsome, I love your music, and you seem like a cool person to hang with.  However?  PLEASE STOP MAKING MOVIES.  BECAUSE THEY ALL SUCK SO HARD.  Avoid the Halloween remake like the plague, and plug in the original, aka The Best.

April Fool's Day.  Dudes, have you seen this flick?  It is an 80's classic, and the gateway drug for horror movie lovers like myself.  It's scary, it's not too gory, the actors are adorable and believable, and the ending is AWESOME.  I love this movie so much that I try to watch it at least once a year.  Someone should really buy it for me on DVD for Christmas... hint!

And so Halloween isn't a total 80's Fest, Paranormal Activity 2.  I saw the first PA and it scared the ever-lovin' CRAP out of me.  One of my big childhood fears is being drug out of bed by the ankle by some unseen (or worse, SEEN) force.  Gah, so scary!!!  I'm hoping PA2 is almost as scary.  It's got babies and puppies in it, which is a recipe for freaktastic.

What are your big plans for All Hallow's Eve?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Meant To Be

You know what I hate?  I hate it when people say something was meant to be.*  No, no, NO.  If you want something to happen, make it happen.  Don't just rest on your laurels and hope good things come to you.

That being said, I do believe this top was meant to live in my closet.  I tried it on last week at ARC Value Village, and then put it back on the rack without buying.  Then?  I thought about it for DAYS.  So when I returned to ARC and saw it hanging just where I left it... a week later... I know we belonged together forever.  Awwwww, it's like twue wuv:

My favorite part are the sleeves.  I like a tucked-up sleeve - I'm lazy, and the sleeve is rolling itself up so I don't have to:

The only downer?  It's now too cold in MN to wear a sheer 3/4 sleeve shirt without layering something over the top.  So this is what I actually looked like all day:

The Outfit Of Destiny:
Dark-rinse jean jacket, Goodwill's last massive garage sale (God, I miss those sales)
Sheer plaid tunic top, New York and Co. by way of ARC Value Village
Black leggings, Old Navy on sale for $5!
Grey OTK socks, Target for just $5!
Black leather faux Frye boots, Target from my SIL for Christmas 2010

*I was a Realtor for years, and it drove me nuts when my clients would say, "If we don't get an offer/If our offer isn't accepted, then it wasn't meant to be."  NO, you dip-shits.  That's when we NEGOTIATE.  GAH!  Your damn house ain't going to sell itself!  Your damn house ain't going to buy itself!  Quit being so damn passive-aggressive and work with me, people!
And that is why I am no longer a Realtor.  The End.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Most Interestingly Boring Outfit I Could Muster On A Monday

How's THAT for a mouthful of a title?!?!  However, it perfectly describes what I wore yesterday when I taught real estate class.  My class seemed to like me, and they all paid very close attention, so I guess this look didn't totally suck.  Yay!

Ahhh.  From this photo you can see how triangularly-shaped I truly am.  Yup, I'm a pear.  And now that I'm almost FORTY FREAKIN' YEARS OLD, I've gotten (mostly) over it.  The way I see it, all that extra fat in my hips and booty will keep me alive during a famine.  Not that the time for famine is nigh, but it's nice to be prepared.

Here I am, being all stern and teacher-like (Yeah, right.  I never look like this in class...):

Mildly Interesting Teacher Outfit
Purple draped front T, Express on sale buy-one get-one 50% off
Pale purple/pink/grey vest, The Gap by way of Savers for just $8
Charcoal grey pinstripe pants, Express on sale buy-one get- one 50% off
Black dance shoes, Nike from their outlet store

Monday, October 17, 2011

Who Opened The Fridge?

Apparently, Fall has fallen.  Hard.  On my HEAD.  In other words, baby?  It's cold outside.  Too cold for what I wore last Thursday on air:

Oh sure - I look all smiley and happy.  But on the inside, I felt like this:

Also?  If I'm going to try and rock bare legs, I best bust out the tanning lotion.  Those are some pale stems there, yes?  Yes.

However, I bought that sweater with the intention of wearing it over that dress.  And I will do it again... as long as I bust out a pair of leggings to wear underneath.

The Too Cool For School... and MN Outfit:
Red flyaway cardigan, Mossimo for Target
Black sleeveless mini dress, The Gap for just FOUR DOLLARS.
Black leather boots, Circa Joan & David from Macy's

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Texas Chainsaw Dresses

Dudes.  DUDES.  I keep buying under-$15 dresses!  It's as if there was a 300 lbs Texan maniac forcing me to shop.  "Buy this dress, or I'll cut off your face and wear it as a mask!"  That's a good reason to hit the stores, yes?  Sure!

Granted, the only real reason I keep buying dresses is because I keep finding them.  In fact, no former meat-packing-plant butcher with mommy issues is holding a chainsaw to my head.  Sigh.  I just need to avoid stores, sales, the Internet and fashion magazines.  They are all a bunch of enablers.

However!  In the mean time!  Here are two more dresses I bought:

OHBEGAH, you guys.  I love this dress SO HARD.  It is comfy, it is flattering, and it goes with everything in my shoe/accessory/jewelry stash.  LOVE IT LIKE I WANNA MARRY IT.

New Dress #1:
Grey/black/dark purple vaguely animal print-esque dress, Savers in Bloomingto for $12.99
Silver lariat and ball necklace, stole it from my buddy Laura whilst house-sitting (um... hi Laura!)
Silver hoops, white gold earrings from my Mom (didn't steal these, tho)
Black boots with silver trimmings, Circa Joan & David from Macy's (?) from 2003 bought on sale

And then, while I was trying on something completely different, I saw this dress on sale at Old Navy for 75% off.  That's practically FREE:

My very first maxi dress!  I love this thing - it's like wearing pretty and presentable pyjamas (now say that 10 times fast).  It is so soft and comfy.  And brightly colored!  Best of all, it has full coverage on top, so I can wear a bra with it.

And because it has a high waist, I can eat whatever the hell I want, and NO ONE would be the wiser!  It's even long enough to come down to my ankles.  And I'm tall!

above: the shoes underneath my very long, very new, very cute dress.

New Dress #2:
Black cropped cardigan with 3/4 sleeves, Marshall's
Black/pink/green/yellow/white floral print maxi dress, Old Navy (new stock) for $11.23
Black Aeresole sandals, ARC Value Village brand new

And now?  I need to run screaming into the night.  NO MORE DRESS SHOPPING!!!!!

Monday, October 10, 2011

I Am Haunted By Dresses

To exorcise the evil and violent Ghosts of Dresses Past, I am compelled to by adorable, well-fitting, inexpensive dresses wherever I find them.  Makes sense, yes?  YES.  If I don't buy the cute dresses, they'll hunt me down in roving, ravenous packs and EAT MY BRAINS.*

Whatever.  I like dresses, and I'm going to keep on buying them, as long as they cost less than $15, like this one:

It looks cute coming.  And going:

I found this beauty hanging out on the discard rack at Savers (ALWAYS check the discard rack at thrift stores, peeps).  Apparently, it had not fit the person who first found it.  Which is a shame as it is so of-the-season (tres Mad Man, no?), and new.  As in, still-had-the-tags-and-spare-buttons-attached new.

Ah well, their loss is my inexpensive gain!  I styled this up fairly simple - just boots and silver hoops.  I didn't want to distract from the dress's clean lines and vavoom shape.  I feel so Joan in it!  Albeit, less boobular endowed.  And blonde.

Dress, Merona brand from Target via Saver's ($12.99!)
Earrings, Silver mod hoops (trust me, they're in there - tho buried by my hairs) gift from my Mom
Boots, Circa Joan & David bought on sale at Macy's 6 years ago

*Remember, if you do encounter roving, ravenous packs of ANYTHING, take cover from an elevated position and aim for the head.  Words to live by.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Oh, Why Not?

When I saw this wrap top at ARC Value Village in Richfield, I thought, "Huh.  Well that's not something you see every day."  And thus, for a mere $6.99, I bought it.  Sure, it's totally random:

But look at!  Flouncy sleeves!  They even have sequins on them!

Excuse the rando pose.  I was trying to show off the back of the wrap, and the drape of the sleeves. Instead, I look like I am cheerfully being frisked by a cop.  I'm quite certain I would not be cheerful if a cop frisked me.  Unless he looked like Gerard Butler.  I could roll with that.  Moving on.

Wrap top, ARC Value Village
Peach T-shirt, Target Merona brand
Skinny jeans, Calvin Klein from Macys
Black chunky sandales, Vince Camuto from Macy's clearance rack.
Leather cuff, vendor from the MN Renaissance Festival

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I Should Just Get Over Myself

I started this blog to post what I wear on a daily basis.  And yet?  I often think what I'm wearing is dull, or not fashion-y enough.

However, the whole POINT of the blog is to have an honest accounting of what I wear, and where I buy what I wear.  So I have decided to Get The Hell Over My Own Damn Self and just post my damn clothes, already.  I hope you'll stick around for the ride.

So!  Here is my last outfit I photographed.  It's from a week ago, when the weather in MN was cool enough to allow for sweaters.  Today?  It's 89 degrees outside.  Not so much sweater weather, no?

As you can see, it was warm enough last week for open-toe footwear.  Hell, today it's warm enough for a SWIM SUIT.  Which, as you know, is not work-appropriate.  But this sweater is!

I bought this ruffled shrug this July, stuck it in my closet, and then COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT.  So much for being frugal...

However, it's on my radar, and I can't wait to style it up all winter long.  Mmmmm... ruffles...

Wanna know what I was doing last Wednesday whilst I wore this outfit?  Sure you do!

I was contemplating one last costume to sew for the Minnesota Renaissance Festival.  I didn't NEED a new costume, but I was so close to being finished!  So I pushed through, and finished is up (picture below).

The Must-Sew-All-The-Things Outfit:
Black and white turtleneck, Express clearance rack from Fall 2010.
Black ruffled shrug, Forever 21 ($15!) but I don't think it's available anymore.  Damn their fast turnover!
Bootcut jeans, Marshalls (they are Tahari - aka my "grown-up" jeans)
Black wedges, Savers - Marc by Marc Jacob!

And here is what I made:

That's me and my "ex-pirate-husband," Obediah Jib (his real name is Dave).  My Fest character is Lilith MacDonald Jib - fallen Scottish noblewoman and ex-wife of a pirate.  I have two pirate daughters - twins - Ophelia and Opaline.  Yup, we have a good, silly-fun time!