Lately, the only truly scary thing about my closet (besides the Boogeyman, but that's what the lock on my closet door is for) is that I keep forgetting about its contents. Once again, I discovered a cardigan I'd bought a MONTH AGO and forgot to wear. I remedied that on Wednesday. However, I was never home to take an outfit photo. So you'll just have to take my word for it - the green/grey cardi from Target exists, and it is lovely.
Although I love my closets now (except for the Boogeyman - he is dead to me), this has not always been the case. Let me share a few of the terrifying items that once lurked in those dark depths...
1. Mom-waisted jeans. Not only did I own such jeans, I pegged them, and then covered the safety pins with scrunchy socks or legwarms. Oh 80's. You were an ugly, uncomfortable time.
2. Stirrup pants. I WISH these had just been big in the 80's! Stirrups made their evil ways known to my closets all the way up until I graduated college. In '94. ICK. And stirrup pants never had enough Lycra in them, so I always bagged them out/wore them out in the knees. I have very bony knees, folks.
3. Overalls. Just... no. Unless you are painting a house, you should not own overalls. Ever. I don't care what TLC wears in their videos. YOU ARE NOT TLC. Rest in peace, Left-Eye.
4. Converse sneakers. Guys, look. I know all those hipsters out there are sporting their Converse all over town. You might even be one of those hipsters. Heck, some of my friends are hipsters, and they wear Converse in my presence. And I refrain from making snarky comments about how the cast from Singles wants their shoes back. Because I love my friends, and everyone is entitled to wear the footwear of their choice. Even an over-played choice like Converse.
5. Big, black, clunky shoes. The 90's were as cruel with their fashions as the 80's. Possibly worse. And the one item I look back at with the most fear and loathing were those clunky-heeled, un-cute, goth/grunge/club kid clonkers we wore. Sure, they're comfy, but MAN are they UGLY. Embrace the curvy heel, ladies! You'll look better for it.
What looks from the past still haunt you today? And have you banished them from your closets? And then lit sage to remove any lingering trace of horror?