The Texas Chainsaw Dresses

Dudes.  DUDES.  I keep buying under-$15 dresses!  It's as if there was a 300 lbs Texan maniac forcing me to shop.  "Buy this dress, or I'll cut off your face and wear it as a mask!"  That's a good reason to hit the stores, yes?  Sure!

Granted, the only real reason I keep buying dresses is because I keep finding them.  In fact, no former meat-packing-plant butcher with mommy issues is holding a chainsaw to my head.  Sigh.  I just need to avoid stores, sales, the Internet and fashion magazines.  They are all a bunch of enablers.

However!  In the mean time!  Here are two more dresses I bought:

OHBEGAH, you guys.  I love this dress SO HARD.  It is comfy, it is flattering, and it goes with everything in my shoe/accessory/jewelry stash.  LOVE IT LIKE I WANNA MARRY IT.

New Dress #1:
Grey/black/dark purple vaguely animal print-esque dress, Savers in Bloomingto for $12.99
Silver lariat and ball necklace, stole it from my buddy Laura whilst house-sitting (um... hi Laura!)
Silver hoops, white gold earrings from my Mom (didn't steal these, tho)
Black boots with silver trimmings, Circa Joan & David from Macy's (?) from 2003 bought on sale

And then, while I was trying on something completely different, I saw this dress on sale at Old Navy for 75% off.  That's practically FREE:

My very first maxi dress!  I love this thing - it's like wearing pretty and presentable pyjamas (now say that 10 times fast).  It is so soft and comfy.  And brightly colored!  Best of all, it has full coverage on top, so I can wear a bra with it.

And because it has a high waist, I can eat whatever the hell I want, and NO ONE would be the wiser!  It's even long enough to come down to my ankles.  And I'm tall!

above: the shoes underneath my very long, very new, very cute dress.

New Dress #2:
Black cropped cardigan with 3/4 sleeves, Marshall's
Black/pink/green/yellow/white floral print maxi dress, Old Navy (new stock) for $11.23
Black Aeresole sandals, ARC Value Village brand new

And now?  I need to run screaming into the night.  NO MORE DRESS SHOPPING!!!!!

I Am Haunted By Dresses

To exorcise the evil and violent Ghosts of Dresses Past, I am compelled to by adorable, well-fitting, inexpensive dresses wherever I find them.  Makes sense, yes?  YES.  If I don't buy the cute dresses, they'll hunt me down in roving, ravenous packs and EAT MY BRAINS.*

Whatever.  I like dresses, and I'm going to keep on buying them, as long as they cost less than $15, like this one:

It looks cute coming.  And going:

I found this beauty hanging out on the discard rack at Savers (ALWAYS check the discard rack at thrift stores, peeps).  Apparently, it had not fit the person who first found it.  Which is a shame as it is so of-the-season (tres Mad Man, no?), and new.  As in, still-had-the-tags-and-spare-buttons-attached new.

Ah well, their loss is my inexpensive gain!  I styled this up fairly simple - just boots and silver hoops.  I didn't want to distract from the dress's clean lines and vavoom shape.  I feel so Joan in it!  Albeit, less boobular endowed.  And blonde.

Dress, Merona brand from Target via Saver's ($12.99!)
Earrings, Silver mod hoops (trust me, they're in there - tho buried by my hairs) gift from my Mom
Boots, Circa Joan & David bought on sale at Macy's 6 years ago

*Remember, if you do encounter roving, ravenous packs of ANYTHING, take cover from an elevated position and aim for the head.  Words to live by.

Oh, Why Not?

When I saw this wrap top at ARC Value Village in Richfield, I thought, "Huh.  Well that's not something you see every day."  And thus, for a mere $6.99, I bought it.  Sure, it's totally random:

But look at!  Flouncy sleeves!  They even have sequins on them!

Excuse the rando pose.  I was trying to show off the back of the wrap, and the drape of the sleeves. Instead, I look like I am cheerfully being frisked by a cop.  I'm quite certain I would not be cheerful if a cop frisked me.  Unless he looked like Gerard Butler.  I could roll with that.  Moving on.

Deets:
Wrap top, ARC Value Village
Peach T-shirt, Target Merona brand
Skinny jeans, Calvin Klein from Macys
Black chunky sandales, Vince Camuto from Macy's clearance rack.
Leather cuff, vendor from the MN Renaissance Festival

I Should Just Get Over Myself

I started this blog to post what I wear on a daily basis.  And yet?  I often think what I'm wearing is dull, or not fashion-y enough.

However, the whole POINT of the blog is to have an honest accounting of what I wear, and where I buy what I wear.  So I have decided to Get The Hell Over My Own Damn Self and just post my damn clothes, already.  I hope you'll stick around for the ride.

So!  Here is my last outfit I photographed.  It's from a week ago, when the weather in MN was cool enough to allow for sweaters.  Today?  It's 89 degrees outside.  Not so much sweater weather, no?

As you can see, it was warm enough last week for open-toe footwear.  Hell, today it's warm enough for a SWIM SUIT.  Which, as you know, is not work-appropriate.  But this sweater is!

I bought this ruffled shrug this July, stuck it in my closet, and then COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT.  So much for being frugal...

However, it's on my radar, and I can't wait to style it up all winter long.  Mmmmm... ruffles...

Wanna know what I was doing last Wednesday whilst I wore this outfit?  Sure you do!

I was contemplating one last costume to sew for the Minnesota Renaissance Festival.  I didn't NEED a new costume, but I was so close to being finished!  So I pushed through, and finished is up (picture below).

The Must-Sew-All-The-Things Outfit:
Black and white turtleneck, Express clearance rack from Fall 2010.
Black ruffled shrug, Forever 21 ($15!) but I don't think it's available anymore.  Damn their fast turnover!
Bootcut jeans, Marshalls (they are Tahari - aka my "grown-up" jeans)
Black wedges, Savers - Marc by Marc Jacob!

And here is what I made:

That's me and my "ex-pirate-husband," Obediah Jib (his real name is Dave).  My Fest character is Lilith MacDonald Jib - fallen Scottish noblewoman and ex-wife of a pirate.  I have two pirate daughters - twins - Ophelia and Opaline.  Yup, we have a good, silly-fun time!

Once More With The Excuses

Dudes.  DUDES.  DUDES, I KNOW.  I am a bad, bad, bad daily style blogger.  Sheesh, I can't even do once a week.  However, let me explain (No, that will take to long.  Let me sum up.) my absence with the following photo blast...

My Posse and I went to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival in costume.  As we are wont to do.  However, we didn't go in just any costumes, oh no.  We went in the FANCIEST, BLINGY-EST, MOST ELABORATE COSTUMES IN THE FREAKING WORLD.  Because that is how we roll.

Here is mine.  Warning: it is horribly period inappropriate.  So if that sort of thing bothers you, move on.

It is a fitted comfort gown.  Which is a complete oxymoron, but I do not care.  It's so pretty!  And it makes me look like I weigh 10 lbs!  Unlike historically accurate comfort gowns, which tend to make one look like a house.

I also had a walking cane - or my Tzarina Pimp Stick.  Take a gander - I'm sure you can guess what it really is:

C'mon, you know what it is, right?  Sure you do:

It's part of a curtain rod.  Since it was damaged and missing the other finial, I got it for a mere $3.50.  Here are the deets on the rest of my "garb."

Fur hat - Ragstock, $11.99
Tiara on hat - Party City, then painted and blinged out with glued-on jewels from my stash of such things.
Red overdress with puffed sleeves - Dress pattern by Laura Ulak, sleeve pattern by Margo Anderson, made from red/black shot polyester taffeta from Hobby Lobby and trimmed with black velvet, black frogs and black braid.  BTW?  Sewing on braid?  SUCKS SO BAD.  And hand-sewing on frogs?  SUCKS EVEN WORSE.
Black fur-trimmed sleeves - Pattern by me, and they are removable.  Made from black Asian brocade from JoAnn Fabric and black fur pillow cases, also from JoAnn's.
Black fur collar - Pattern by me, also from the pillowcase.
Black corset cover (you can barely see it) - Pattern by me, Asian brocade
Black underskirt - Pattern by me, Asian brocade.
Jewelry - various thrift/consignment stores.

Here's a close-up of the top:

(Yeah, I know.  I had a random piece of hair sticking out through the entire first photo shoot, and NO ONE TOLD ME.)

Even though this was a bitch-kitty to trim (Laura did all the major sewing), and even though it was amazingly dusty at MNRF, I LOVED wearing this.  When you dress like (Russian) royalty, people treat you like royalty.

Confession - this was supposed to be made out of red Asian brocade fabric, to match my royal character: Imelda, Marquessa de los Zappatos.  But the brocade was an epic failure of epic proportions, so viva la Russia!  Plus it was chilly, and I wanted to wear my fur hat.

And since she made herself one stunning-ass costume, here is my seamstress buddy, Laura:

So much bling and trim and what-have-you went into that costume.  She also modified or made a bunch of other costumes people are wearing.  And as her trusty side-kick, I helped.  Thus the busy, no-posting as of late.

However!  Tomorrow, we resume our regular, non-costume posting.

Alive And Dressing

Yup.  I'm still here.  And still wearing clothes.  Like you do.

See?  Clothes.  Bright ones, at that.  For a girl in love with black, this is quite a departure for me.

In fact, my clothes were so bright, I had to wear shades.  But not a smile, because the day I wore this outfit, I was being KILLED by my allergies.  I have them under control now, but they still suck the life out of me.

My Grumpy Duds:

Sunglasses, some street vendor selling "Prada"

Silver hoops, Tommy Bahama

Silver necklace, Savers Thrift Store

Blue t-shirt, Target (LOVE this style o' tee)

White jeans, Tommy Bahama

Nude shoes, Opitz Outlet

And yes, I wore white after Labor Day.  I am a rebel like that.

At Least I'm Covered

GAH.  These last few days (weeks?) have been hectic as can be, thanks to the Great MN Get-Together.  Which is also known as our State Fair.  The MN State Fair is more than just your average Joe Schmoe fair.  It is a FAIR of EPIC PROPORTIONS.  And I do my Fox 9 segments out there, thus sucking up copious amounts of time that could otherwise be spent blogging about what I'm wearing.

It's also Ren Fest season in MN, so if I'm not at the Fair, I'm at the Fest.  Or sewing for the Fest.  Or DRIVING TO THE FEST GAHWHYISITSOFARAWAY??????  Ehem.  Moving on.

So here.  Here's what my bestie and I wore last weekend to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival.  Please bear in mind that I am in no way period appropriate.  And that I in no way give a flying hoo-hah about that.

On Me:
Black straw Elizabethan top hat with red trim, La Paloma Hats from the Bristol Ren Faire 2010
White chemise, sewn by me
Red collared short bodice, patterned and sewn by me
Black flocked (!) pants, Savers and modified by me
Black boots, Payless
Red shot silk scarf, MNRF 2010

On Laura:
The Elenora gown mock-up #2, pattern by Margo Anderson, cut out by Laura and I, sewn by Laura.  White linen fabric with brown and gold pattern.  Trimmed with gold beading and gold piping.
Coif (in the back, you can't really see it), sewn by Laura

And here is our My Space Face photo.  Because... yeah.

I'll post pictures of real clothing soon.  Promise.  Maybe.  We'll see.